Wednesday, November 30, 2011


I walk around, staring at women who have tight protruding bellies, women who know soon they will see their little one, whether it is a joy or a stress… they know that at a certain time a baby will appear! When I see these women I feel such fondness, such comraderie, but I have no belly, so maybe I live through them. But I feel as though I am about to burst, about to see my baby.
I know I might be in the space longer than the women I see, but that is ok. Just to know I am in this stage is a feeling I haven’t often allowed myself to feel.
But there is such joy and hope it. There is also a feeling of desperation, of only God can bring about the children He has promised.
Children of a Promise. Not just any children, but those God has for us. As he grows specific children in a womb of a mother, He has set a part children for us. They are in His hands. So we will trust, and believe and have faith!

in all this God is drawing us to himself. To desperation: in Him alone.
Regina gave me this devotion:
“The Faith for desperate days. The Bible is full of such days. It is record is made up of them, it’s songs are inspired by them, it’s prophesy is concerned with them, and it’s revelation has come through them.
The desperate days are stepping stones in the path of light. They seem to have been God’s opportunity and man’s school of wisdom. There is a story of an Old Testament Love feast in Psalm 107, and in every story of deleverance the point of desperation gave God His chance. The ‘wits end’ of desperation was the beginning of God’s power…
Desperation is better than dispair
Faith did not make our desperate days. It’s work is to sustain and solve them. The only alternative to a desperate faith is despair, and faith holds on and prevails.”
Hebrews 11:6
English Standard Version (ESV)
6And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God(A) must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.
Children of a Promise. Not just any children, but those God has for us. As he grows specific children in a womb of a mother, He has set a part children for us. They are in His hands. So we will trust, and believe and h
ave faith!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

our wacky process

So people have been asking, about the papers in our hands in the picture we posted on Facebook. For those of you who have walked with us on this journey step by step, you already know, but for most everyone else, it isn’t so clear.
And to be honest – our process of adoption has been anything but NORMAL!
Which I am sure adds to the curiosity of what we are sending in!

We are just now completing our US immigration requirements –
The I600A form (which is for preapproval by the US to adopt a child internationally) which we needed to wait to send in until Dan and Regina returned from the States to Zambia to get their fingerprints done by the US embassy here for the federal fingerprint check. We also had to get the fingerprints taken, but we needed them for it all to be complete before we could send it in for approval, which takes 2 to 4 weeks!

So that is the final stage – unless the US has issues with our home study or I600A application – for the State side requirements
-Most families do all this then it gets sent to the country adopting from, then they wait for the people in that country to find a child who matches their specifications on the application to adopt.
But we are not most families! Though sometimes I wish we were…

But on the other hand we get to be proactive about finding and identifying our children. But that doesn’t mean it goes any faster… it just means the social workers who are working on our behalf know us, and we get to bug them, even when they have 100 other crisis’s to handle.

Before we can apply for the next step in the process, the I600 – the immigration form to petition to make the orphan your adopted child – that child must be legally adopted by Zambian Law. So that is what we are working on now.

While the US process is in motion, we are working to get the Zambian process in motion and completed! First step (well more like 4th or 5th step) is to indentify the child/children. We would love for it to be 2 children. But under the age of 2. We know this might be wishful thinking, but we believe God’s desires are our desires. So we will be content with the child. Or children. He provides.

So we are holding, sometimes barely clinging to the hope we have so long pined for. Believing even when it seems nothing is moving. It all feels so close. But it is so hard to get my hopes up just to be disappointed. This is what I fight constantly, the fear of being disappointed. This week God spoke to us a few things through people, and prayer.

1.Delight in the Lord
2.Be still and Know He is God
3.1 Cor 13:7 “Love never gives up, Never looses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance”

Pray these things with us, over us and for our Babies. That we can give them this kind of love, even when we don’t know them, can’t touch them, or watch them sleep.

Saturday, November 5, 2011


so lately, Paula and I have both had encounters that unfortunately are not all that uncommon. African Children screaming when they see us, or if we wave at them or try to hold them.

in the book What is the What (i totally recommend it) but Dave Eggers - one of the Lost boys in Sudan describes the first time he saw a white person "I thought i was seeing a ghost!"

so i am wondering, is that what these children think!? most of the time when it happens, we laugh, the parents laugh, and the baby continues to scream until we are out of sight.

will this happen the first time we see our little one!? ahhhhhhh!!

but seriously.
i voiced my concern to Jeremiah and he said, "well first of all it depends on how old the child is"
- ok i think this is true, maybe we will get a baby who doesn't know the difference.
he continues,
"and in the USA when social workers place kids in foster homes, they often scream, but they have to leave them." - he says so unworried like...

i can just imagine the scenario... the baby sees me and screams bloody murder, so i pass her the Jeremiah and she instantly falls a sleep :) this would happen!

i can't wait to find out!